[We would like to thank Jonah (@LizardwithaZ), for transcribing the following interview after finding a mysterious cassette tape on the streets of Charleston. -Ed.]

Click.

Voice 1: So you want to tell me about tonight, yes? About what you witnessed? What you heard?

Voice 2: What do you want to know? Do you want to know everything? All of it? What it’s like to be…me? To be my kind?

Voice 1: Yes. I’ve been searching for you. I’ve heard tales. Tales of the vampire who–

Voice 2: Phampire.

Voice 1: Pardon?

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