[We would like to thank Daniel B.Simon (@sleeping_llama) for this piece. -Ed.]

Please give Phish a warm welcome back to Grand Rapids, Michigan, where Jovi hosted Trey on his most recent visit, June 20, 2022. Trey brought his acoustic guitar, and sat in with her on the Grand Rapids "Bug." Kindness is magic, y'all! Without it, the rest doesn't even begin to matter.

On the heels of Trey's epic guest appearance with Jovi, he's bringing Mike, Jon, and Page along for The's fifth and sixth shows in Grand Rapids on August 6th and 7th. After 8/11/93 at Eastbrook Theatre, and 11/14/94 at DeVos Hall, it's their third trip to Van Andel. (In case there've been times when you wondered…ever heard of Amway? Jay Van Andel was a co-founder.) First came 11/11/96, and then came the two-year anniversary show of the aforementioned show, on 11/11/98. All-time most common opener "Chalk Dust Torture" (97x) kicked off the former, and PYITE the latter. Double treatment for "Contact," "Gumbo" and "Theme from the Bottom." Will any of those go 3-for-3? We've got two nights to find out. There's a lot of chatter in the build up to Mondegreen.** What is Phish holding back? What's in high gear? There's some serious spending, and also, paradoxically, some serious saving. Talk ain't cheap and neither is tour, but so as long as they destroy, it doesn't matter. (Still, I dare anyone to knock a Grand Rapids "Windora Bug.")

Did you know that the farmers of Michigan grow the most blueberries of any state in the union? Phish has taken the stage 26 times here over their 41-year career. The Wolverine State is in a show-count deadbeat with Alpine Valley, and they'll be happy to reclaim the lead. But at the rate things are going, Michigan won't be catching Deer Creek's tail anytime soon. Phish just burned that place down for the 32nd time Sunday night. (Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota, Alaska, and Hawaii are all still waiting for their first show, and plenty of states, as well as Europe and Japan haven't seen Phish since Finnish novelist Kalle Päätalo roamed the earth. Did he meet Växt?)

Phish first visited the land of flying squirrels, pulling up to Rick's Café in Ann Arbor for their lousily attended gig on 4/16/91.** Before Phish took the stage, Trey sparked the fuse with opening band Ryth McFeud on Traffic's "Light Up or Leave Me Alone." (It's the only time on record that Trey sat in with a Phish opener.) When CK5 took control of the lights, "Golgi" provided the wind on the runway, with YEM in the coveted two-spot. Phish played 18 more shows in the next five years, once as the warm-up act for Carlos Santana. Something about the only time they ever played Pontiac, Michigan, 6/23/94, caused them to mega-bust out NICU after a 250-show gap. Never since have we suffered more than 27 consecutive NICU-less shows.

Phish came back for a single late-fall show in 1997, 1998, and 1999. Smart people keep telling me to check out 12/6/97, and maybe you should too.) Only four more Michigan shows since 1999. 2009, 2011, 2014, and most recently 2022, for that long-ass set after a long-ass rain delay at Pine Knob. It's the only show in Phish history where my spirit animal "Carini" immediately followed my spirit animal "David Bowie." Gort isn't one of these. He's neither or both. Well, my first thought was “this should be illegal,” especially since "Bowie" came on the heels of a particularly evil "My Friend, My Friend." After the fog lifted, Trey dedicated the first song of the encore to his friend Jovi, then slayed "Possum," and sent us all back into yet another torrential downpour. Speaking of mammals, while it's unclear if wolverines are still living in Michigan, cougars are making a comeback. We've already discussed hexapod invertebrates. In the plant kingdom, there are two varieties of cactus native to Michigan, Fragile prickly-pear and Eastern prickly-pear.

The only Phish two-night-stand in Michigan got more down April 17-18, 1993 at the Michigan Theater in Ann Arbor. On N2, during "I Didn't Know," Page scuttled any “vacuum pillow” jets of sound. Instead, he surveyed the audience and crew on their opinions of the N1 encore, "Big Black Furry Creatures from Mars." Brad “Balloon Tech” Sands, and Paul “Holiday in the Sun” Languedoc weighed in. Some fans thought it overrated, but not Chris “Yes Man” Kuroda. I won't spoil much, but Big Red's thoughts faded, and there's a reason it's the longest-ever stand-alone BBFCFM. Can we expect a repeat of any of this? It's Phish, FFS, so the answer is a definitive no. Just play "La Grange," dammit.

If you've read this far, you've earned some stats. Here, In alphabetical order, are your Wolverine State League Leaders, which, any algebra teacher could guarantee you all debuted in 1997 or earlier:

11x Cavern, Poor Heart

10x Bouncing Around the Room, Tweezer

9x David Bowie, Maze, Possum, Runaway Jim

8x Chalk Dust Torture, Golgi Apparatus, It's Ice, Mike's Song, Rift, Split Open and Melt, Stash, You Enjoy Myself

7x Foam, Reba, Run Like an Antelope, Sample in a Jar, Sparkle, Tweezer Reprise

Phish has debuted seven songs in Detroit. The one-off "Band/Crew Football Theme Song" at Rick's (let me know if you find the tape), and Ginseng Sullivan in '93. In November 1994, they brought along the “Reverend" Jeff Mosier for a five night run. Two of those shows transpired in Michigan and yielded the first "Foggy Mountain Breakdown," "I'm Blue, I'm Lonesome," "My Long Journey Home," "Little Tiny Butter Biscuits," and "Roll in My Sweet Baby's Arms." If you haven't gone down that Aquarium Rescue Unit-tinged bluegrass rabbit hole, 'tis worth it.

And finally, I'll just mention this cuz of Phish's recent performance in DC, their first since 1999, at NPR HQ of all places: Considering Phish *only* played "All Things Reconsidered" 81 times — which is still more than the combined plays of "Sigma Oasis" and S.A.N.T.O.S. — it's kind of bizarre that a whopping six of those are Michigan ATR. And yet, only one Michigan "Harry Hood." Ever. No stats I see can be taken from me.

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**4/16/91 was also the night my beloved St. Louis Blues came all the way back from a three games to one deficit to defeat the Red Wings in Game 7 of the division semifinals. I wonder if anyone at the Phish show cared. The Blues got their asses kicked by the Minnesota North Stars in the next round. My dad got us tickets for Game 7, but it was all over by game 6. I remember being irate with Brett Hull. I was so blue, so lonesome. But 28 years later, we all know that Phish was in the right place at the right time when the Blues finally skated home with their first-ever Cup in 2019!

**Did anyone else see Mike’s Mondegreen pedal Instagram story?!? I hear a sound.

Special thanks to ZZYZX, phish.net, and phish.in for making this article possible without a slide rule. And extra special huge thanks to phish for making all of this possible, period. And all my friends.

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Daniel’s first show was 4/3/98. Lemonwheel was next, where he rode the ferris wheel and was surprised to learn that not every show has a four-song second set. He is patiently waiting for a thirty-minute Evolve. Even twenty would be just fine. Or fifteen. Or anything over eight. He’s also wondering what ever happened to Forward People/Perseid. It’s too good. Lotus too. C’mon!

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