Somebody save Trey! The wooks got him! No classics? Do Hood, Alumni Blues, and The Lizards not qualify as classics? Your sister-in-law did liquid acid with the band in their limo and they were full of shit? Wow, nobody’s ever used a story like that to bolster their cred before. Trey can’t play the Tweezer riff anymore? He hasn’t played it straight in ages. He’s always vamped on that riff, and countless others, because after you’ve played a song thousands of times you start to want to change it up a bit. We all know how the songs go; a large part of why people still go to shows is to hear how the songs go on that particular night. It’s not just about jams, it’s about improvising within the song structures themselves. But I digress.

I too think a lot of “phans” are hard-partying fake-hippie morons who couldn’t care less about music. A lot of tour rats needed a place to go after Jerry died. Which is strange, because Phish have always been more of a dork band to me. But, I’m pretty sure Trey and Phish do whatever the hell they want. I don’t always love everything they do, but I never get the feeling that they’re doing it to appease heady brahs in the lot. And I sure as hell don’t love the band because of the “scene,” in fact I largely detest it. But I’ve been a fan for 15 years now, and this year’s Hampton Simple brings me to tears damn near every time I play it. They must be doing something right. I’m sorry you don’t enjoy it anymore. That’s OK.