As someone who has spent an extended time under the lock and key of the D.O.C., I am very familiar with drug court, among other types of courts. I have seen it help people who are truly ready to make a life change. It is good as I have changed my life style, and learned to love Phish more, to see Trey change his life and speak for those who take the long road, but make it out.
When I was imprisoned, I lost everything I had. TV, stereos, clothes, car. But when I got out, my music collection was waiting. After a loooong absense of my favorite music- hearing it again, made it worth that much more to me. I relived some of my favorite shows, in listening to them. The difference- it became more about the music, the emotion.
I wondered, being sober, and living a new healthy lifestyle, if I would ever get to see live music again. I feared if I didn't at least try it out, sober and all, that I would never feel the love and vibe I once felt. I feared life would pass me by and I would regret not seeing live music.
But how? Drinking was my life, and I grew up drinking in almost every social situation. Sobriety was new, and would I be able to stay sober if I went to a show? How would I handle, this very social affair without some crutch?
After released from parole, Phish announced their getting back together. A lot of their hiatus, I was behind bars. This announcement came at just the right time. To me, it was a sign. I had heard the rumors, Phish may be getting back together, and I told myself, if they do, that would be my first show sober. And it was. There was a lot of emotion. I had the support of a couple of my good friends, I had let down and hurt with my drinking. It was very hard not drinking, but was soooo exhilirating. I will not miss seeing summer Phish.
Knowing my music was out there waiting for me, kept me going when I was locked up. I love my family, my children, but music is the soundtrack of life, for me. It inspired me then, and continues to inspire me now. There were many days behind bars where all I had, were the conversations from home, the letters from home, and I always thought of this: "I took a moment from my day, and wrapped it up in things you say. I mailed it off to your address, youll get it pretty soon unless..."
Thanks to Trey for speaking on our behalf, and thanks to Phish for giving an old retired drunk, ( who may be a little lost in this world) a place that he can still call home.