Thursday 11/02/2017 by phishnet

WHY DO YOU SEEM SO OBSESSED WITH PHISH?

[More thoughts from new fan Ashley Ertle.]

They say music speaks to your soul. I never personally experienced it until Phish.

My boyfriend and I just had a really hard conversation. It’s the type of conversation where you leave and you’re scared about your future. I began to question everything and my anxiety went into threat level midnight. When my anxiety is to the point of where I have to repeat phrases of positive self-talk, I immediately go outdoors.

Nature is calming. It reminds you that the world is much bigger than whatever problem you’re facing. It breathes life into you and gives the peace you need at that moment. Clarity and calm come from nature. The next time life seems to be just too much, escape into the outdoors.

The first and only studio album I’ve listened to is The Story of the Ghost. I know, I know what about Rift?! Lawn Boy?! Well, this is where I am right now. I listened to it for a few weeks non-stop, but always skipped #4. I didn’t even know the name of that song. The jam was just too long and intense for me, so I skipped #4.

On this particular day, on my escape to nature to calm me, I went on a walk with my dog, Ranger. I’m walking along the sidewalk, listening to Phish, as I usually do when I walk him. I was thinking about the conversation I had with my boyfriend, going through the words again in my head, and wondering how was this all going to be okay? At that exact moment Trey spoke into my ear: “I’m bouncing like a newborn elf, I can’t remain inside myself.” And the tears just silently flowed.

He knew.

He spoke the words my soul was feeling, but couldn’t explain, and I lost it.

I immediately looked up the song name upon returning home, and listened to live versions from each Phish era: 90s, early 00s, and from Baker’s Dozen. The song played on repeat for a straight week. That jam I initially thought was too intense is what kept me going and gave me life.

I have contemplated writing this story down for weeks now. At the gym this morning, I was thinking about this story once again. Should I write it? What would I say? I get into the car, turn the key, and what do I hear immediately?

“I’m bouncing like a newborn elf, I can’t remain inside myself”

If that’s not the universe telling me to write this down, I’m not sure what else is……

You ask why I seem “Phish obsessed”? This is why.

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Comments

, comment by Rmirish1
Rmirish1 "He spoke the words my soul was feeling, but couldn’t explain, and I lost it"

no sister, you found IT.
, comment by SplitOpenAndMule
SplitOpenAndMule Fantastic writing! Thanks for putting it in the word.

I can completely relate. There've been many times when I've felt something new, strange, intense, uncomfortable, comfortable, etc., and then a Phish lyric pops in my head, and I understand it for the first time. Like hidden seeds, they are, waiting to bloom in our lives when the conditions are right.

I hope it all works out for the best with you and your boyfriend.
, comment by peacey
peacey "He lectured me in a language strange
And scampered quickly out of range"

We may not always be able to reach what we're grasping for, and many times we hear life lessons that sound strange and irrelevant. Only when we're at the edge of ourselves can we truly understand the experiences that have molded us.

Phish has much to say, but it's a one way conversation that can leave us wanting more, to discuss how it is making us feel, what it means in context to an experience and how it leaves us wanting as it scampers quickly out of range.

All we can do at that point is discuss and write it down, give it existence because it can no longer remain inside yourself.
, comment by bchris
bchris If you did not come across this show, it is worth a listen:

http://phish.net/setlists/phish-october-20-2010-utica-memorial-auditorium-utica-ny-usa.html
, comment by GratefulJoe
GratefulJoe @bchris said:
If you did not come across this show, it is worth a listen:

http://phish.net/setlists/phish-october-20-2010-utica-memorial-auditorium-utica-ny-usa.html
Guyutica!
, comment by EvenCarlSagan
EvenCarlSagan Nice work,Ashley.
Nature is calming.
Even during a thunderstorm sometimes.
Or right after,at least.
on occasion,before one.
Divided Sky...

The sometimes hidden Wisdom in Phish songs reveals itself when the time is right.
By yourself or sometimes,more often than not,at a show.
Right here on .net almost all of the time.
If it were not for .net,I wonder if I'd ever understood this band or community...
Cosmic beauty is present in the personal and in fellowship.
In an album,recorded performance or the aether of the universe.
Best of luck to ya!
Cheers
, comment by Ertle_Turtle
Ertle_Turtle @splitopenandmule We are good ❤️ This is the first relationship I’ve ever given honest and effort to make it work. I understand why I’ve heard relationships are hard and I understand even more why it’s worth all the work.
, comment by Ertle_Turtle
Ertle_Turtle @bchris said:
If you did not come across this show, it is worth a listen:

http://phish.net/setlists/phish-october-20-2010-utica-memorial-auditorium-utica-ny-usa.html
Bchris: It’s what we are doing tonight while camping!!!
, comment by Ertle_Turtle
Ertle_Turtle @EvenCarlSagan said:
Nice work,Ashley.
Nature is calming.
Even during a thunderstorm sometimes.
Or right after,at least.
on occasion,before one.
Divided Sky...

The sometimes hidden Wisdom in Phish songs reveals itself when the time is right.
By yourself or sometimes,more often than not,at a show.
Right here on .net almost all of the time.
If it were not for .net,I wonder if I'd ever understood this band or community...
Cosmic beauty is present in the personal and in fellowship.
In an album,recorded performance or the aether of the universe.
Best of luck to ya!
Cheers
Phish.net is my phishy bible ❤️
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