Thursday 06/09/2016 by phishnet

FIVE

5
5

Top 5 Eras of Phish That Are Beloved by Noobs

5. 1.4 -- Phish 1.4, which began with the first chords of the Murat “Gin” and ended right before the Big Birch encore, is often cited by noobs as an improvisational growth spurt for Phish. Very few if any noobs have actually listened to shows from this era, but they are told that many are outstanding.

4. VIDA-VOLT-TAB-GRAB-STER-NADO-HEAD -- As there is no light without dark, no sweet without sour, and no hard without soft, so noobs believe that there is no Phish without “No Phish.”

3. 3.1416 – We surveyed thousands of noobs in our “Thousands of Noobs” survey, and the Pi Era bested rivals like Euler's Number, 273 degrees Kelvin, and Hlohlm’s Constant. Among its highlights: the Outside Lands “Number Line.”

2. The Before Time -- Describes the assumed temporal void that precedes every noob’s first Phish show. No one really knows what was happening back then. It’s not like there’s a record, like a website or a book. There is only the oral history. And the cave paintings. And the fossil record.

1. The Merch Years -- At the peak of The Merch Years you could visit Dry Goods and cram a “Sample in a Jar” Nalgene bottle, a “Fuck Your Face” baby onesie, a 50-caliber rifle bullet with Fishman’s autograph engraved into the shell casing, an official Dude Of Life FleshLight, a pair of “Dr. Gabel” Crocs, a burlap sandbag filled with melted Phish Food ice cream, and a frog-gigging weekend in the Everglades with Page McConnell into one convenient shopping cart.

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Comments

, comment by Rick_like_an_Antelope
Rick_like_an_Antelope Best one yet
, comment by CypressMikes
CypressMikes A+
, comment by willywebsta
willywebsta Oh The Before Time. It was a better time then. When time was before.
, comment by baby_snakes_345
baby_snakes_345 None of this jungle mungle makes any sense. Time to head to the ditch!!!
, comment by johnnyd
johnnyd I would like to see further results from the Thousands of Noobs" Survey.
Could probably learn me a thing or two.

/like that the best-ever version of every song has been performed since 2009
//zing!
, comment by Mr_Draned
Mr_Draned For #1, you forgot to mention The Dude of Life's cape!
, comment by drshaws
drshaws Do 6/22/10 attendees with stub get free Gabel crocs from livephish.com?
, comment by ColForbin
ColForbin Which era does 6/6/09 fall into? Because I want to erase it from history.
, comment by Ravinus
Ravinus @johnnyd said:
I would like to see further results from the Thousands of Noobs" Survey.
Could probably learn me a thing or two.

/like that the best-ever version of every song has been performed since 2009
//zing!
And not just best-ever, but EPIC!
, comment by bushwood_a_dump
bushwood_a_dump Number 5 is alive! Great list.

SELECT *
FROM The_Before_Time
WHERE Bust_Out > curr_show_number - 50
, comment by Dianna_2Ns
Dianna_2Ns "an official Dude Of Life FleshLight"

LOL
, comment by Piper72
Piper72 I thought the 'Pi' Era described Page's food choices before the 'Cheesecake' era.
, comment by johnnyd
johnnyd I say it's 4.0

/ducks
//covers
, comment by buffalo_voice
buffalo_voice Ha! Funnies. You made a funnies.
, comment by j_led
j_led Finally some love for the OL BDTNL.
, comment by Mike_Thong
Mike_Thong An all time great post here, can't believe today's noobs haven't gotten it yet.
, comment by jonesgator
jonesgator The before time, in the long, long ago.
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