Tuesday 06/07/2016 by phishnet

SEVEN

7
7

Top 7 Tips for Summer Tour

7. Stretch both before and after drum circles to avoid injury.

6. Never miss a Sunday show.

5. Never miss a show whose date numerical values sum to a number that is divisible by either 1 or 2.

4. Never miss a show, probably, unless you have a dentist appointment, because your teeth need to last you a lifetime, unless you can afford dentures. If you can afford dentures, then never, ever miss a show, even for the dentist.

3. Sneak a sofa into the venue in your pants and it will feel just like you’re home on couch tour.

2. Be sure to capture all the concert action on your shitty smart phone so you can prove to Facebook that you were even there, sofapants.

1. If after the show you forget where you parked your car, don’t panic. Just wait until every other vehicle has left the lot and presto: the last one left is yours!

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Comments

, comment by drshaws
drshaws But will sofapants be holding up a fuckerpants sign?
, comment by j_led
j_led Oh to be Prince Sofapants, with a better shitty smartphone than me
, comment by jonnylips
jonnylips #2 and #1 made me LOL.
, comment by ObviousFool
ObviousFool #2 should have the warning that if you're on the rail your phone might get thrown.
, comment by EdwardGRobinson
EdwardGRobinson Alternatively:
1) Do things smart people do do.
2) Give yourself to science.
3) Keep what's important.
4) Feel the feeling you forgot.
5) Take care of your shoes.
6) Read the book
7) Say that this has been wonderful.
, comment by Mr_Draned
Mr_Draned Do:
Have a blast on tour!
, comment by NICUR2HI
NICUR2HI Have we figured out what this countdown is for?
, comment by ColForbin
ColForbin Image
, comment by johnnyd
johnnyd sof-a sof-a sof-a sof-a sof-a Sofa Pants!!!
Sofa!
Fluff those Pants!
, comment by MH_84
MH_84 Yeah the last car thing...it works!
Blossom '11'd :)
, comment by Piper72
Piper72 I feel a song coming on...

"Are you ready kids?
Ooohhhh...
Who hangs on the rail right in front of me?
Smartphone Sofapants!
Annoying a fellow, he blocks what I see!
Smartphone Sofapants!
The masses, we need him, on our asses we watch
Smartphone Sofapants!
Until LivePhish gets wind and shuts him down like a bi-otch!
SMARTPHONE SOFAPANTS!!!
AHAHAHAHAAAAHHH!!!"

Had to be done. You're welcome.
, comment by IdRatherBeOnTour
IdRatherBeOnTour Don't be a douche bag...
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