The band Phish announced today that the worldwide fear of computer-related crime has been unfounded, as every single instance of apparent frauds known as "phishing" have simply been part of an elaborate marketing ploy on behalf of the band. Bassist Mike Gordon reportedly bought some film with two of the credit cards, "just to make it seem legit", but no charges were filed in those instances, since the apparent victims were Danny Bonaduce and Michael Bolton.The hoax was reportedly brought to a halt in order to mend relationships between th band's management and several national banks, whose financial assistance will be needed in order to mount the reunion tour planned for Summer of 2008. Turnout for that tour is expected to require the construction of new, super-sized stadiums nationwide, as well as on-site...uh...something about...wookies... oh, forget it. Happy April Fool's Day.
Drummer Jon Fishman was arrested outside Whitehall, NY, this morning on his way home from a Dead show in Jones Beach, where he was taking pictures of his wife having an argument backstage. Arresting officer Richard O'Donnell-Chappelle observed Fishman riding his white 2005 Segway in the opposing lane. He then discovered that Fishman's ASCAP license had been revoked when he failed to respond to a August 1993 ticket for recording with J. Willis Pratt.After Fishman passed several sobriety tests described as "not gentle" with sensitive areas of the rock star's body", police searched the vehicle and discovered nine-year-old art photos of 60 pharmacists in a battle with members of the Hell's Angels. Fishman admitted to driving while under the influence of hash browns, which have since been identified as Tasty Cakes, and reportedly told O'Donnell-Chappelle, "You know what, I've got a problem and I've got to take care of it. Do you have any Immodium?" Keyboardist Page McConnell, the only member of the band not yet arrested, will spend the summer in a studio composing and recording several unusual crimes to be produced and prosecuted this fall. Following decades with Phish, several years with Vida Blue, and short stints with the Allman Brothers Band, James Gang, and Al Qaeda, this will be McConnell's first solo criminal effort. Showcase exhibitions of the work are planned for several cities in the Northeast, followed by an immediate apology to fans and a quiet getaway to the Carribbean.
Phish staple "Betty", who has answered fan snail mail since it became too voluminous for Mike to handle, will now be licensed by the band for use by Fortune 500 companies. Betty proved to be an efficient and scalable solution to what had seemed a grotesque communications burden, a realization that came recently, in the wake of the breakup and the withering of tour revenue. Following six months of Beta testing, by competing fan clubs in the the wildly controversial thumbtack and paperclip industries, licensing to music fan clubs, grassroots political parties, and Lifestyle event planners will begin this week. Phish will release a scaled-down retail version, iBetty, this fall as part of a suite of software allowing those who used to organize other aspects of their lives around Phish, to now allow Phish to organize all aspects of their lives.
Page's website has announced that he will promote his new solo album (Page McConnell, due out April 17) with a 13-date tour stretching from Burlington's Higher Ground on May 30, through MA, RI, PA, NY, DC, GA, NC, OH, IN, MI, and IL, ending at the Pantages Theatre in Minneapolis on June 14. Page's band includes Adam Zimmon, Jared Slomoff, Rob O'Dea, and Gabe Jarrett. Tickets will be available online through a real time presale beginning Friday, March 30th at 5:00pm (Eastern Time) and ending Friday, April 13th at noon (Eastern Time).
Christina Durfee (one of Trey's backup singers the last few tours, and part of the Phil/Trey ensemble @ Vegoose) is listing on her myspace page that she is playing the Phil and Friends shows at Sounds of Brazil, the 450-standing capacity club in the west village, a week from Mon/Tuesday. That's far from official news that Trey will be there, but a either a good hint or a strong tease.
Drummer Jon Fishman was a judge at the http://www.mbird.org/sitg">Vermont Youth Orchestra "Battle of the Bands" at Higher Ground in South Burlington. The winning act, The Manix, won the chance to perform as an opening band at Nectar's in Burlington and an invitation to perform in the Burlington First Night Battle of the Bands. The other judges were saxophone player Dave Grippo and singer-songwriter Amber deLaurentis. (Burlington Free Press)
Page's debut solo album will be released April 17, and his showcase will be April 4th at Gramarcy Theatre in NYC. Anyone who preorders the album will be entered in a drawing for showcase tickets and for one of 100 limited edition posters.
Phish has released 12/1/95 in both audio and video via LivePhish.com.