Phish.net > Charts > Narration Chart: "Harpua", 1993-02-12

Credit: phish.net team
[Originally transcribed by Yance Davis]

TREY: Thank you... So, as you send us off on our merry way for three months driving around in the bus... First of all, lemme ask you guys if you wanna get in on a little bet we've got going here for this particular tour. And, lemme just tell you that Fish here is ALWAYS late for the bus every day, so he has now bet everybody in the crew and the van a thousand bucks that he won't be late for the bus one time the entire tour.

So anyone who wants to get in on that bet come talk to Fish after the show and line up your money there... [fun drumplay from Fish going on the entire time Trey talks] Yes that's right, this song is something that uh, Fish and I wrote together a long time ago. Of course, it all starts far up on a hillside, all the way up in the distance here in a different land, this green kind of scraggly hillside, and there's… weeping willow trees around and a pond in the distance and this little dome hut. In the little dome hut is an ugly little man who lives there. And he lives there with his awful little dog.. His awful little mangy dog Harpua. And Harpua on this particular day decides he's gonna walk into town and he starts to feel... He's feeling deja vu...

This kind of thing, he's been through this before. It's one of these things he feels like he caught in one of these Kurt Vonnegut sort of time warp things where he keeps finding himself walking down this damn hill into the town and everything. It seems to be the worst every time, but he always seems to come out okay. So everything's alright he decides, “well, alright, I'll just do it again.” So he's walking along, he's walking down into the town, he's going down, and he leaves the ugly little man behind.

He walks down the scraggly hill, past the pond and past the willow tree, down onto the dirt road, down the dirt road for a couple miles, onto the paved road, down the paved road walking around until finally he starts to come into this suburban area and meanwhile... In one of the houses in the suburban area there's another little boy, and his name... is Jimmy. And Jimmy on this particular day is sitting back on his couch and watching his TV, watching the Superbowl... He's watching the halftime show. And he turns it up!... [teases "Black or White" ]

So he's watching the halftime show. He's watching this other strange little man. This guy's a strange, thin, sort of pale-skinned man. He's standing with steam coming up between his legs and stuff. He's watching, and he looks down at his little cat, and he says “I love watching the Superbowl with you my kitty, cause you're my best friend. I love petting your fur and watching Michael Jackson up there wiggling his butt around. I makes me feel so GOOD! PET your Fur and watch Michael Jackson at the same time! Aaaaah YEAH! I LOVE PETTING YOUR FUR AND WATCHING MICHAEL JACKSON! AAH, YOU'RE SO SMOOTH AND, AARRGH SOFT! It's beautiful, and that's Why I NAMED YOU… POSTER NUTBAAAAAG!!!

So, he's petting Poster Nutbag, and he's watching Michael Jackson on the TV. Poster Nutbag isn't really like Jimmy: he doesn't like Michael Jackson so he decides he's gonna go out for a little walk. Jimmy gets up and opens the door, and Poster Nutbag goes walking outside. He, too, he feels like... like he's been somewhere before. It's a dream or something like time has come... some circular wheel that's turning round and round and over and over again. He thinks “gee, I can't go through this again. Something... something's telling me that something bad's gonna happen, but he can't stop himself, he feels his paws pulling him forward... pulling him forward, down the driveway, out onto the sidewalk, walking forward. He doesn't know where he's going, he turns around a tree and suddenly… He sees Harpua walking towards him. Harpua... Harpua is looking at him, and he remembers.

There's gonna be an awful fight. They're looking at each other with hatred in their eyes and Harpua's got an evil grin bebecause he knows he always kicks Poster Nutbag's butt in a fight, and they start looking at each other. Poster Nutbag looks at Harpua. Harpua, Poster Nutbag. Poster Nutbag, Harpua. Harpua, Poster Nutbag! Bag, 'Pua..'Pua, Bag..Bag, 'Pua 'Pua Bag Bag 'Pua 'Pua Bag. Until Poster Nutbag lets an evil drop of saliva drip onto the ground... Harpua looks up at him. The fight is about! They're going… and finally, they're fighting, they're fighting each other, and teeth sinking into.., and and... OH MY GOOOD!! POSTER NUTBAG KILLS HARPUA!!!

He’s looking down on Harpua’s body and says “AFTER ALL THIS TIME, I'VE DONE IT! I'VE DONE IT! HARPUA IS FINALLY... I'VE KILLED HARPUA!!” And he's so excited that he [very rapidly] has a heart attack and dies…

Look, the storm's gone...
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