Original Transcription by Yance Davis, Harpua Files
[At a frenetic pace, Trey chants “Kung” right after the volume lowers for him to begin Harpua narration]
TREY: Rich in minerals. Kung, Rich in firth. Hang well ye martinland. Well we fell a pedestal Fervent fourth now fervent fifth. Here and forever it will occur Be it ever so Voraciously alternate. Can we stand? Can we stare? We can stage a runaway golfcart marathon! Stand up Stand up Stand up on your heels and call From the hills From the hills….
Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I've said the magic words of the lost Helping Friendly Book... and by saying the magic words of the lost Helping Friendly Book, we have now transformed ourselves once again to that wonderful land called… Gamehendge. [maniacal laughter from Trey] Some of you have never been to Gamehendge before, and some of you obviously have. For those of you Gamehendge virgins out there, let me fill you in a little bit about the land of Gamehendge.
First of all, there's this thing about Gamehendge that you might have noticed. Gamehendge is always covered with sort of a foggy haze. Everywhere you look there's a foggy haze. It seems the weather is so cool and beautiful and breezy all the time. Sometimes your mind plays tricks on you, and you might actually start thinking that you're hot and sweaty. But, in reality you're cool and warm and beautiful. It's just an illusion, and as soon as your mind overcomes the problem, you suddenly realize that you're not hot and sweaty at all, you're actually out in a breezy wonderful day. The breeze is blowing over you. Aaahhhh, can you feel it. Brrrr... [Trey makes a shivering sound]
Ahh, so here we are in Gamehendge, and the part of Gamehendge that we're at is sort of the outskirts of Gamehendge. Because, in Gamehendge you have this beautiful green field that goes off as far as the eye can see in one direction with a black rhombus floating, and you have a huge mountain coming up out of the middle of Gamehendge, and a vast forest that goes off in the other direction. One part of Gamehendge that people don't very often travel to, but the place that we're going to today, over on this side, is the sort of suburban area of Gamehendge here, where the mountains end and you've just got these little houses lined up.
Now these houses didn't use to be there in the beginning of Gamehendge, but, right now, at this point in time that we're visiting, they are there because, by saying Kung, the magic words of the Helping Friendly Book, you can travel to any time in Gamehendge's history that you want.
Now on this particular day with a cool breeze blowing over our chilly bodies, we're standing there and we're looking around and we... An old guy comes up to us and starts to tell us the legend of a certain guy who lived in Gamehendge. This was this evil man who once was just a nice young boy, but he was chastised by the people of Gamehendge. He was forced to move out of Gamehendge up into the mountains where he lived in a tiny shack, curled up with his dog that went everywhere with him, and his dog was a dog named Harpua!
Now, Harpua and the evil man lived up on the hill, and they used to look down and they would get very frustrated looking down, because they weren't really allowed... They would look down on Gamehendge and they would hear the little children singing and holding hands in the yard, and they'd sing... [Trey sings softly, in a very light, almost dainty voice] “We've got it simple, Cuz we've got a band. And we've got cymbals in the band.”
And he'd look down and see the little children playing and holding hands and singing the "we've got it simple" song... It used to PISS HIM OFF because he wasn't allowed to be down there. So, what he started doing over here was training his dog to become an evil attack dog, a killer attack dog. As years and years of training went on, one day he looked down and realized that the dog was now a vicious killing machine.
So, on that day he said “Harpua, I want you to go down into suburbia there, down to the places and wreak havoc on the peaceful town of...” Whatever town it is, suburban Gamehendge… “and wreak havoc on them and get my revenge for sending me off up into the mountains.” So on that day he sent Harpua, and Harpua the evil bulldog began walking down the mountain toward the town, seeking to wreak havoc on the town.
Meanwhile... Meanwhile... Meanwhile in one of the houses, unknowing that the evil dog Harpua was on his way to get 'em, lived a young boy... and his name was Jimmy. On this particular day, Jimmy was sitting in his house there, doing what he'd normally do, which is sitting around, you know, opening the window, petting his little pet cat, playing with his stereo. On this particular day, he was popping on one of his favorite old, favorite old tunes and umm, you can hear him turning up his stereo...
[Trey plays Hendrix’s Voodoo Chile licks with full band support for about 20 seconds] It was Jimmy...listening to Jimi. So Jimmy was sitting there listening to Jimi, having a great day. He really loved this, listening to Jimi. Suddenly, he felt a little clawing on the side of his leg, and he looked down. He saw that it was his pet cat. Now, Jimmy's pet cat was his prized possession, his greatest love. Jimmy had only one love in life, other than Jimi, and Jimmy's love was this cat. And… on this particular day he picked up this cat..
FISH: The cat wants to hear Jimi’s playing again.
TREY: And, he's petting his cat, hanging his cat by the scruff of the neck and looking his cat directly in the eye and saying, “You know, other than Jimi, I really love you more than anything.” He put the cat's nose right up against his nose, and he looked deep into the cat's eyes. He said “You know, the day you were born, I knew... I knew that you were made for me and I for you. I touch your back with love, and I look at you and I say... It was with great love on that day that I lifted you out of your mother's little thing there, all covered with goo, and held you up and said, "This is the cat! This is the cat who will go through life with me. This is the cat... This is the cat that I will name… that special name because I know that it came to me in a dream. Your name came to me in a dream, and I knew that you would go through life with me. It was that day, that I woke up, and I was dreaming. I looked into your kitty eyes and... your little kitty eyes, and I said "You will go through life with the moniker, the label, the name of... the great... You're the one that I'm going to call POSTER NUTBAG!!!!’ [Powerful mini-Harpua jam takes place after triumphant cat naming]
“Poster Nutbag. Poster Nutbag. Poster Nutbag, I love you so much. What exactly do you want today Poster Nutbag?” Poster Nutbag looks up at him, and he says, basically with telepathy, he says, I want to go outside. So, Jimmy goes and opens up the door and says, "Poster, have a wonderful day. I'm going to be in here listening to Jimi, and you go out and just... don't do anything I wouldn't do. Go out in the world and have a fun day on this beautiful, cool breezy day."
So, Poster Nutbag walks out from the house and into the world. He's a little chilly because the wind is blowing. He's walking along innocently, and as he's walking along, he starts to sense that something isn't normal in the neighborhood here. He looks to his right, and there's nothing. He looks off that way, and he sees the green field with the Rhombus, and that's okay. He looks over there and he sees the mountain going up.. There's little Colonel Forbin climbing up there. He looks over there and...
OH! Suddenly, off in the distance, coming towards him he sees... something he doesn't like... and it's...it's Harpua, it's the evil dog! Poster Nutbag's mind goes back to that day, so many years ago when Harpua and his owner were banished from town. He remembers what an evil dog Harpua was then. Now, Harpua has been transformed into an evil killing machine! Harpua comes running up to Poster Nutbag! Oh My God, there's gonna be a fight! Harpua bares his teeth! Poster Nutbag coils his body into a deadly arch. Harpua lets a drop of hungry saliva drip off on to the ground...
Look, the storm’s gone...
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