TREY: Welcome everyone. Maaaan, this has been a really fun summer. Look at this guy. It’s so
good to be back here at Dick’s. You know, we love Dick’s. We love Dick’s. Page? Do you love
PAGE: Love it. Love it. Love ‘em. Thank you guys. Thank you...
TREY: Mike, you love Dick’s, right? He’s not talking. He does, let me tell ya. So, anyway, I’m gonna tell you this story, and it’s gonna be kind of a long story, so...Lotta characters in this little story. As you know, the first one,, the stone village swamp man, the old man. We always like to do a Harpua when we’re in Colorado area because we’ve been doing it here since the 80s --O my god -- and I always envisioned the old man in this story living somewhere up around like Crested Butte, you know up in the mountains. Colorado. He’s been up in the woods forever. He’s an old man. He’s very grumbly and very evil. Mean, old man lives up in the woods. Nobody likes him very much. And he’s got, of course, his sidekick. His dog, Harpua! Yes, yes.
And, Harpua... Also the name of this song. By the way, here’s a little hint for you... Here’s a little hint for you all... The walrus was Page. When Harpua is in the song list, and this goes for Micah too, if you’re listening, you only have to write it once if you’re writing your little song list on a napkin or on your phone or something like that. If Harpua is in the song list, you only have to write it once. Keep that in the back of your mind.
Anyway, as I said, the old man is like a guy who lives up in the mountains. He’s an evil guy. He’s got this mangy dog, very mean. The people in the town don’t like him very much, and he becomes basically an outcast that lives up in the woods. Meanwhile, the other character in our story, as you know, is the incredible Jimmy. Now Jimmy... [pauses and laughs while crowd applauds] Jimmy is not of the mountains. Jimmy is the, Jimmy is like an East-Coast guy that kinda moves out to Colorado and, uh... So he’s trying to get used to it out here and one of the things that he has to do is... He can’t breathe very well, so he gets himself an oxygen tank.
And, today we’re gonna picture Jimmy, okay, he’s in his house, he’s sitting on his couch, he’s got everything he needs to have a beautiful afternoon. He’s got, like his, um, he’s got his edibles, and he’s got... [crowd cheers] He’s got his vape, and he’s got whatever he needs. He’s got his turntable, and he’s got his old record collection. And, he’s got his oxygen tank so he can breathe. Kind of like that guy from Blue Velvet.
Breathing in his oxygen tank, he lifts up the, uh, you know, the thing on his turntable there, the needle and he puts it down, and he starts off this beautiful afternoon with all this stuff, playing one of his favorite old rock songs from the, from the old days...
[Phish starts up JJ Cale’s “After Midnight.”] There he is, sucking in his oxygen. [“After Midnight” continues through the verses]
TREY: So Jimmy is kicked back on the couch. Listening to some Clapton. Having a great day. He’s got some gummy bears, or whatever they, whatever you’ve got here. Sucking on his oxygen tank. Feeling good, feeling good... Until suddenly, he doesn’t feel that good anymore, for some strange reason.
[“NO2” begins. Trey and Fish make sucking sounds]
TREY: Sucking on his oxygen, things are starting to get a little weird. In his head, he’s kinda feeling strange so he sucks more of the oxygen tank. He tries to get some air because he can’t really figure out what’s going on. Music is getting strange. [sucks] Sucks a little more on the oxygen tank [sucks]. Starts thinking to himself, “I wonder if I should’ve bought that oxygen tank in the parking lot at the Phish show. The guy told me it was an oxygen tank.”[sucks]
[“NO2” continues and is followed by “Keyboard Army” which will provide the backing music for the beginning of the next part of the narration.]
TREY: And, he’s hearing these bell like sounds in his mind, and then after a couple minutes his head, his head starts to clear a little bit. He starts to feel a little bit better and the bells start going away. As he sits there, he looks down to his left and thinks “Oh my God, there’s my cat. That’ll help me come back to reality.” And, he starts petting his cat, this beautiful, furry black cat. And he’s petting his cat. He looks down, and he says “I love you my little cat. My... Poster Nutbag… At least you’re still here with me.” And he says, “I love having a cat. I love cats. I love having a pet. I love having a pet cat! As a matter of fact, I wonder how long people have been keeping cats for pets.”
[Page plays piercing caterwaul, marking the beginning of “Your Pet Cat”]
TREY: [during ending of “Your Pet Cat” And, as Jimmy sits there, petting his beautiful pet cat, it all starts to kick in again. All of the sudden, he is getting dizzy. He’s back in another dream state. He doesn’t know how this happened. He’s petting the cat, and suddenly, he’s back in another dream state....
[Music shifts to an ambient, bubbling noise that accompanies the following narration.]
TREY: And, he hears this voice inside of his dream head that says, says something like this...
MIKE: I’m walking down a corridor, on a boat. Swaying gently. I am hungry, but I have to go quickly. I walk briskly past a family of four, a young child and a tiny, tiny little cat, so soft and tiny. I keep walking, and there beside me is a tray of hors d'oeuvres. I’m so hungry so I grab one. I’m late for soundcheck so I must keep walking.
Pop the thing in my mouth, keep walking, and I realize there is something between my teeth., something furry, and I pull that out of my teeth. Then, there is a little more, and I realize that unfortunately I ate that cat. It was tiny, and it was little Poster Nut Bag.
TREY: Look, the storms gone...
[Phish then move in the “How about a Goldfish section of “Harpua” with Page playing the father
and Mike playing Jimmy. Mike refers to Poster as “Little PN.” As the “I want a dog portion” starts
to crescendo, Trey resumes narration.]
TREY: Jimmy sits there and thinks about eating Poster Nutbag. He begins to wax philosophical. He thinks... He thinks how did I get here? HOW did I get here? And as he thinks, he begins to sing...
[Phish play “Once in a Lifetime,” which concludes as the band sings “a dog!”]
TREY: Thanks so much everybody...
[“United We Stand” begins, providing the background music for the conclusionof the narration.]
Just gotta take a moment at the end of this unbelievable tour to just, express our deepest gratitude to all of you, as this kinda comes to a close, this summer tour. Also to everybody watching and listening at home, this is for you guys too and for everybody here. Basically, what I wanna say is that I can’t really begin to tell you how much the four of us appreciate and feel, blessed to be part of something that has become so, to us at least -- you know I’m talking about what this community and this scene that we look at every night -- that’s become so, beautiful and so unique. You know, like... So, I mean i know we’re up here playing the music, but this is kind of, our chance to say that to you...
We talk about it a lot backstage and like, you know, at the festival and here at Dick’s, and it’s such a good feeling. You guys are kind of creating it all. So, um, we feel like we’re a small part of that, whatever that is, you know? And, we wanna thank you guys. Really, from the bottom of our hearts. So, it was a great summer, and we can’t wait to catch up with you on the journey, wherever that goes next, maybe Mexico or whatever. But you know, there will be a lot more. Hopefully we'll be back here again.
[“United We Stand” continues]
[By using the first initials of each song, but Harpua only once, the spelling tradition is continued: T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U was spelled in the encore.]
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