What Are They Saying In You Enjoy Myself
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This question is asked so often and on the net that there is a standard abbreviation for the question, which itself has been treated as a word. "What Are You Saying in You Enjoy Myself?" is thus shortened to WAYSIYEM (also asked as "What Are They Saying...?" shortened to WATSIYEM) and used as a word in, for example, "What a waysiyem question!" Only the band members know for sure what they're saying, and there may well be variation or even uncertainty among them.
Official Answer: As published in the guitar tablature for YEM in Guitar World, they're saying ""wash uffize drive me to firenze".
Intentional Confuson? The line was originally thought to be "wash your feet then drive me to a frenzy." It's now generally understood as "wash uffitzi, drive me to Firenze" (pronounced Fuh-wren-zhee), referring to Trey and Jon's trip to Europe as wandering minstrels in the summer of 1985 (living in a car, thus the stinky feet), including stops in Florence, Italy (Firenze, to Italians). Page & Trey (March 92, Colorado) wouldn't fess up, but admitted that it was in two different languages. Uffizi (prounounced by Phish as "you-feet-zee", with an added "t" sound) is part of Florence (Firenze), near the Ponte Vecchia most known for the Uffizi Gallery (alt), formerly the offices of the wealthy & powerful Medici family. (The Italian word for "offices" is "ufficio". Thomas Wuensch) (To note, "Frenisi" is the name of an Artie Shaw tune, not "Firenze" or &Firensi".)
Origins in Idioms? From Brian Snyder: After the Mann summer show in '92, a friend... in Murphy's in West Philadelphia... band was in there havin' a few beers and playing pinball. Apparently Fishman's grandparents live near Penn or something. Anyway, Frank asked Trey what was up with You Enjoy Myself. Trey and Mike told him they had been hanging out with a couple Italians who couldn't speak English very well. When the foreigners left, they said "You enjoy myself, yes?" I think it was supposed to mean "wishing you the best." Anyhow, they all started laughing and somehow came up with the song. The Italians were from Florence, which in Italian is called "Firenze." Aside from the cathedral, the most famous thing in Florence is a museum called "Uffizi." Anyhow, Frank told me that Trey told him that what they sing is "Wash Uffizi, drive me to Firenze." But then listen to the 10/31/95 YEM, when the words are slowed down until distinctly can be heard "Wash Your Feet and drive me toooooo..... firenze"
The Uffizi: "The Uffizi is an art museum. It is a U-shaped building with two wings, & a piazza in between the wings. There was no actual Uffizi family, but the Uffizi was the site of the government offices of the Medici family during the sixteenth & seventeenth centuries. The family itself lived in the Palazzo Pitti across the Arno River. There exists an above-ground tunnel that leads from the Uffizi to the Palazzo Pitti, stretching over the east side of the Ponte Vecchio (also correct spelling)." (Andrew Ager 4/30/93)
The Uffizi Gallery was bombed in the Spring of 1993, reportedly by Italian mafia. A Phish newsletter which followed the bombing extended condolences and grief. At the end, Mike wrote "Drive me to Firenze."
Mike doesn't help: In response to fan mail, Mike has taken a liking in newsletters to offering possible variations. The first ("water you team, in a bee-hive, i'm a sent you") was clearly used for at least the first half of February 1993. In newsletters of that month, Mike clarified this by saying it means "yes, I'll play, but no I won't raise", & also listed these: "washer/dryer/freezer/fencing", "wanton in a key, i live, & me for horse rent", "wont you please-e-curve me from valensi", "wash, you face, and drive me to Valencia", & "washington fences, please, says me". He later gave additional answers, such as "Watchusett fiji is sun-hived to floor antsy,", and had earlier given the answer "Wasohbf woeh ejwro jeeef je ei Fndsbid."
"Sometimes I have to figure out where to draw the line!
We get in trouble for giving away secrets sometimes"
- Mike in Billboard, 12/21/02
Wash your feet: Ken Williford (5-26-96), citing an earlier newsletter, recalled that "Mike said that the band (I suppose it was only Trey and Tubby), while sojourning in Firenzi, took off their shoes, rolled up their trousers, and stomped around in the fountain outside the Uffizi. I have since taken this to be a remarkably clever pun on the phrase "wash your feet(sies)," which is actually sung as "wash-a-Uffizi." Besides the spelling aspect of the pun, simply do your best impression of an italian trying to pronounce the words "wash your feetsies" -- you should come up with something very much like "wash-a-uffizi."
Other suggestions/guesses from Phish.Netters:
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