From: Yance Davis
Harpua Files: 6/17/94 The OJ Show

Do you remember where you were the day they arrested OJ? Sure, it's no "Do you remember where you were at when they killed JFK?" but our generation hungers for events like that. Personally, I was at work, but after getting this tape, I wished to hell that I could've been in Milwaukee, Wisconsin seeing one Fantastic performance. What do the two have in common? You'd have to hear the tape, I suppose, but apparently Phish had heard about OJ's highway chase and decided to have a little fun with it on stage in the midst of a killer show. Throughout Poor Heart, Fishman won't shut up with OJ references like "yaaaaaaahhh OJ" and "Ruuun OJ, Run!" to name a few. For pure comedic value, this is probably my favorite version of the song. Mike's starts up gloriously, going in and out of both Simple and Hydrogen, and then an odd mixture of the two. Just for the evening, OJ even gets his own verse in Simple... We've got OJ, Cuz we've got a band. And we've got OJ in the band (repeated) What is a band without OJ? OJ is grand Follow the Weekapaug with a Harpua (and six more tunes) and you've got a recipe for a great show. Harpua, amazingly, does not touch the OJ topic, but is no less grand for it... A minor flub by Mike starts the Harpua off, though he tries to stick to the same beat to make up for it, which throws the opening off just a tad. Definitely not the tightest opening I've heard, with some offbeats from just about everyone. This is just after a wild Mike's Groove, so the exhaustion factor should be accounted for. Opening is two minutes, 2 seconds... At a frenetic pace, Trey chants KUNG, faster than I think I have ever heard before, right after the volume lowers for him to speak. I don't have any clear versions of Kung unfortunately due to quality or Trey speaking ultra-fast, like here. I do know the version is Not the same one altogether from the lyrics file. I'll try my best to transcribe it, but he does mumble, and Kung is...well, a little nonsensical Kung... Rich in minerals. Kung, Rich in firth. Hang well ye martinland Well we fell a pedestal Fervent fourth now fervent fifth. Here and forever it will occur Be it ever so Voraciously alternate. Can we stand? Can we stare? We can stage a runaway golfcart marathon! Stand up Stand up Stand up on your heels and call From the hills From the hills (it ends) "aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" "I've said the magic words of the lost helping friendly book... and by saying the magic words of the lost helping friendly book, we have now transformed ourselves once again to that wonderful land called... ***Gamehendge*** (maniacal laughter from the stage/ maniacal applause from the audience) "Some of you have never been to Gamehendge before, and some of you obviously have. For those of you, Gamehendge virgins out there, let me fill you in a little bit about the land of Gamehendge. First of all, there's this thing about Gamehendge that you might have noticed. Gamehendge is always covered with sort of a foggy haze...Everywhere you look there's a foggy haze. And it seems... the weather is so cool and beautiful and breezy all the time and sometimes your mind plays tricks on you and you might actually start thinking that you're hot and sweaty, but in reality you're cool and warm and beautiful... (I'm assuming here from the applause that it was a pretty hot day in wisconsin) "...it's just an illusion. And as soon as your mind...as soon as your mind overcomes the problem, you suddenly realize that you're not hot and sweaty at all, you're actually out in a breezy wonderful day and the breeze is blowing over you. Aaahhhh, can you feel it. Brrrr... (Trey makes a shivering sound) "Woooo woooo... ahh, so here we are in GAmehendge, and the part of Gamehendge that we're at is sort of the outskirts of Gamehendge, cuz in Gamehendge, you have this beautiful green field that goes off as far as the eye can see in one direction, with a black rhombus. And you have a huge mountain coming up out of the middle of Gamehendge, and a vast forest that goes off in the other direction. And one part of Gamehendge that people don't very often travel to, but the place that we're going to today, over on this side, is the sort of suburban area of Gamehendge here, where the mountains end and you've just got these little houses lined up. Now these houses didn't use to be there in the beginning of Gamehendge but right now, at this point in time that we're visiting, they are there...because, by saying KUNG and the magic words of the helping friendly book, you can travel to any time in Gamehendge's history that you want. "Now on this particular day with a cool breeze blowing over our chilly bodies, we're standing there and we're looking around and we... an old guy comes up to us and starts to tell us the legend of a certain guy who lived in Gamehendge. And this was this evil man who once was just a nice young boy, but he was chastised by the people of Gamehendge, and he was forced to move out of Gamehendge up into the mountains where he lived in a tiny shack, curled up with his dog that went everywehre with him and his dog was a dog named Harpua! "Now, Harpua and the evil man lived up on the hill, and they used to look down and they would get very frustrated looking down, because they weren't really allowed... They would look down on Gamehendge and they would hear the little children singing and holding hands in the yard and they'd sing.. (Trey sings softly, in a very light, almost dainty voice) We've got it simple, Cuz we've got a band. And we've got symbols in the band. "And he'd look down and see the little children playing and holding hands and singing the "we've got it simple" song... It used to PISS HIM OFF!...cuz he wasn't allowed to be down there. So what he started doing over here was training his dog to become an evil attack dog, a killer attack dog. And as years and years of training along, one day he looked down and realized that the dog was now a vicious killing machine. So on that day he said 'Harpua, I want you to go down into suburbia there, down to the places and wreak havoc on the peaceful town of'...whatever town it is, suburban Gamehendge...'and wreak havoc on that and get my revenge for sending me off up into the mountains.' So on that day he sent Harpua and Harpua the evil bulldog began walking down the mountain toward the town, seething to wreak havoc on the town. "Meanwhile... Meanwhile... Meanwhile in one of the houses, unknowing that the evil dog Harpua was waiting to get 'em, lived a young boy... and his name was Jimmy. On this particular day, Jimmy was sitting in his uh... He's sitting in his house there, doing what he'd normally do, which is sitting around, you know, opening the window, petting his little pet cat, playing with his stereo and... on this particular day, he was popping on one of his favorite old...favorite old tunes and umm, you can hear him turning up his stereo... (Trey steps back and does some hot Hendrix Voodoo Chile licks with full band support for about 20 seconds. It's a short cover, but Trey pulls it off nicely) "It was Jimmy...listening to Jimmy. So Jimmy was sitting there listening to Jimmy. And it's a great day, he really loved this, listening to Jimmy, and uh, suddenly he felt a little clawing on the side of his leg, and he looked down, and he saw that it was his pet cat. Now, Jimmy's pet cat was his prized possession..his greatest love. Jimmy had only one love in life, other than Jimmy. And Jimmy's love was this cat. And...he picked up this cat.. (Trey runs his fingers down a string or two of his 'doc, making a "meow"ish sound while Fishman says something in the background to the extent of "Careful Jimmy, put it down") "And he's petting his cat, hanging his cat by the uh, scruff of the neck and looking his cat directly in the eye and saying 'You know, other than Jimmy, I really love you morethan anything.' He put the cat's nose right up against his nose and he looked deep into the cat's eyes and he said 'You know, the day you were born, I knew... I knew that you were made for me and I for you and I touch your back with love and I look at you and I say.. it was with great love on that day that I lifted you out of your mother's little thing there, all covered with goo and I said "This is the cat! This is the cat who will go through life with me and this is the cat... This is the cat that I will name...that special name, that.. because I know that... it came to me in a dream and.. your name came to me in a dream and I knew that you would go through life with me. It was that day, that I woke up, and I was dreaming. I looked into your kitty eyes and.. your little kitty eyes and I said "You will go through life with the moniker, the label, the name of.. the great.. You're the one that I'm going to call POSTER NUTBAG!!!!"' (Powerful mini-Harpua jam takes place after triumphant cat naming..) "Poster Nutbag. Poster Nutbag. Poster Nutbag, I love you so much. What exactly do you want today Poster Nutbag. Poster Nutbag looks and him and he says basically with his cat.. telepathy, he says, I want to go outside. So Jimmy goes and opens up the door and says "Poster, have a wonderful day, I'm going to be in here listening to Jimmy, and you go out and just... don't do anything I wouldn't do and go out in the world and have a fun day on this beautiful, cool breezy day." So Poster Nutbag walks out of the house and into the world, and he's a little chilly because the wind is blowing and he's walking along innocently and as he's walking along, he starts to sense that something isn't normal in the neighborhood here and he looks to his right and there's nothing and he looks off that way and he sees the green field and the rhombus and that's okay. He looks over there and he sees the mountain going up.. There's little Colonel Forbin climbing up there. He looks over there and ... UH! ...Suddenly, off in the distance, coming towards him he sees... something he doesn't like... and it's...it's Harpua, it's the evil dog! Poster Nutbag's mind goes back to that day, so many years ago when Harpua and his owner were banished from town. He remembers what an evil dog Harpua was then. Now Harpua was been transformed into an evil killing machine! Harpua comes running up to Poster Nutbag! Oh My God, there's gonna be a fight! Harpua bares his teeth! Poster Nutbag coils his body into a deadly arch. Harpua lets a drop of hungry saliva drip off into the (last word is too incomprehensible to make out, though is short)... With that, the story ends, and no tale of the actual battle is made. From the normal post-story dialogue we can only assume that Poster died as usual. Mike is funnier that usual in the dialogue, though it can't really be written down here as it's his pronunciation and where he puts the stress on the syllables which make it stick out. You just have to hear it, I'm afraid. (No grovels, just now though) This version of 'pua, though loose at times and with a story that seems to end at a place that most Harpuas go past to give newbie folks the full story, is still worth hearing for the spirit of the whole thing. From the background music to the tones in all the bandmember's voices, it's obvious they are having a great time up there. Having two Phish references (KUNG and Simple) along with Hendrix is Definitely a plus. Total time for 6/17/94 Harpua: 18:02, which is pretty long for Harpua Hope y'all enjoyed...