Date:    Mon, 19 Jan 1998 16:45:45 -0800
From:    Martin Acaster 
Subject: Ghost Story #18 12/13/97 Set 2 The Ghost of Boris The Spider Giving
         Technofunkaphobia to the Landlady

Hey There

Another fine Ghost from the fall came my way this weekend. Thanks to Simon
Cohn for the fabulous tapes of this insane show in Albany.  I had tickets to
this one......ouch.  If you like your ghosts hard and fast and funky this
one is for you.... it rages from start to finish.  A jet powered el camino
ride into black butte oblivion.

Ghost Story #18 12/13/97 Set 2 --T.A.F.K.A.K, Albany NY
The Ghost of Boris The Spider Giving Technofunkaphobia to the Landlady

The Landlady comes rushing out the front door of her 4 room bed and
breakfast terrified by the noise coming from within that nice young man
Jimmy's room.  Horrible screams curses and invocations hurled at that
horrible Mr. Wilson.  Nipples...paper...giant clips.  She immediately stops
in her tracks in the middle of her moist green organic.....no Olfactory hues
here.....the olaphian mothership is descending towards her garden.

The prologue begins out of a short countoff in the midst of the whirring
sirens of the descending craft.  The landlady is beamed into the ship in the
wink of a young girl's eye.  Oh yeah....like lightning....the lyrics are
insistent and fast paced and so is the funk. The rhythm section is driving
the ship today and they are in a HURRY.  Mike is snapping and popping and
fish is cranking on all cylinders immediately.  The verse-break moogaloo is
completely schizophrenic. A super slow but chock full of ambient notes ring
my superstitious bell from page a squealing yeahuuhhhaaahh from fish changes
the pace in the verse break and speeds it up (if possible).  The Ghosts are
insistent high pitched and filled with ohs and ahs and eeks. The Ghosts of a
woman locked in the sub floor compartments of a hyperdimensional funkcraft.
Compartments filled with large furry black ghostspiders. Boris the ghost
spiders.  What I'm getting at here is the fact that mike's bass playing
throughout this juggernaut cruisemissile velocity ghost is Entwhistleian in
proportions. Huge Sonic Boom style bass.  The PLM  damn near caused the
popping of my dashboard speakers in my truck the bass is so HEAVY.  The
first minute or so of the story is all mike fish and page in a blistering
technofunk haze. trey is screaming with sustain. about the 4 minute mark as
the sound barrier is broken...nothing is audible but the sound of the ship
and the nervous landlady's beating heart.  Gradually a watery slithering
noise can be heard at the other end of the compartment.  Then the bombs
begin to drop as the hyperdrive of the mothership is cranked over.  The poor
landlady begins scratching and clawing and wailing at the lid to the
compartment. There is something big and furry with glowing red eyes in here
with her. Got to get out.  Scratching clawing wailing moaning. The driving
siren wails of the mothership. The superatomic hyperdrive powering the craft
faster and faster.  Around the 6 minute mark she hears the creepy crawly
spider.....stop and start....stop and start....scurrying closer towards
her....finally it pounces....This Ghost is ferocious.... a wall of energy
plowing through the space-time continuum tearing a hole in the very fabric
of the universe and scaring the hell out of the landlady.... Around the 9
minute mark the tears begin to cascade down the landlady's face.  Tears that
turn to rage. The anger soaring within her. She will get out of here. Higher
faster harder the mothership soars. Finally the lid springs loose the
landlady is free and she is in ecstasy. Pure orgasmic joy. Running down this
hallway and that. Got to find a way home. Overjoyed that terrible spider is
left far behind. Running faster faster faster...ooooofff....she trips
tumbles chaotically to the cold steel floor of the mothership. She rises to
her knees. Starts to run. What's that....oh no a siren....they know she's
loose....she slows her pace. Slow steps down the hall a door theres a
doorway...the siren....the door it opens.....

And there's a big dude in the doorway blocking her way.....Mike's begins
around 15:00

who you gonna call

Mart