On-Stage Banter

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Here lie "little snippets of Phish Banter - those hilarious moments during a show when one of the boys says something that's so wierd and funny that you just burst out laughing and make all your friends listen to it. These little moments are just as much a part of a Phish show as the music (well, that might being taking it a bit far, but you know what I mean) and I thought I would make a place to collect those moments so people can come read a few, have a laugh, and put their favorite banter for all to enjoy. If you've heard some banter that you think is worthy, write it out and send it [in]. Include the date, venue, and who is talking if you can figure it out. ...everyone will get credit for what they submit. ... Note: Shelly Culbertson has requested that 'uh' and 'um' be left out of banter transcriptions as it is not necessary and usually only makes the speaker sound unintelligent. Please take this into consideration. I am in the process of editing banter that was previously submitted." -- Jake Morrill

 


Chronological Index

 

 


The whole/actual list

10-30-85 (setlist) - During intro to the first Harry Hood ever:   

Trey: Welcome to Hunt's everybody...We hope your ready to dance...We're Phish...We're gonna start out, right now, with a song that you have not heard yet and this one is a story of the man who lives directly across the street from us, right now [chuckle] Harry Hood...And this is a story of Harry and his vacation across the globe to the sunny beaches of Greece...And it all starts as our friend Brian places a carton of Hood milk into the refrigerator do, er, door and closes the door and as he closes the door and walks away he asks himself a question...(a few seconds later begins the Harry chorus)

04/01/86 - SneezeBloodEyeball at Liont's Festival of Fools

Trey (before Icculus): And, ah, this next song is written by one of our favorite bands, SneezeBloodEyeball, ladies and gentlemen...

 

08/29/87 - Marley Banter at Mead Ranch, Shelburne, VT - Set 1

A few seconds after they closed out Mustang Sally, Trey, began a weird little vocal jam on "Everybody's heard about the bird" which lasted about 20 seconds. He stopped then a few seconds later he'd, briefly, start it up again. As he started to do it a third time, , started barking, as if to say, it was funny the first time, somewhat amusing the second but that third one annoyed me... Marley: Woof, Woof, Woof Trey: Marley, Marley, Marley, Marley, calm down... Marley: Woof, Woof Trey: Marley..Hey, come here

08/06/88 - Baked in Telluride:

??oops??

08/08/88 - Run like Fishman:

Note: It might be a good idea to read Treys' story about Fishman getting lost in the mountains from the second set of . This is the date & show Trey is making reference to. 8/8/88 The Moon, Telluride, CO - Set II Background: At some point Fish walked into the club and the band reamed him for not showing up on time. Fish told them what had happened to him and, during , Trey informed the crowd of what took place in this manner Trey: Rye, Rye Rocco..Marco Esquandolas, been you to have any shpleef, man....[Run, Run chorus begins]...[said in an mocking, almost angry, tone in almost synchronous timing with gearshifts] leave town and walk towards the mountains in the distance, assume that you'll be back by 10 O'clock, walk farther into the distance naively thinking that you could climb the mountains, climb the mountain before you, pay no heed when your 2 friends each take a hit of acid, walk over the mountain and decide that you'll cut back the long way by climbing, climb down towards the beautiful valley below which has pretty flowers growing everywhere, Oh No, realize that there is a 2,000 ft cliff in front of you, start to shit your pants when you realize the sun's going down, decide it's time you too should eat a hit of acid, turn around and realize that you have to climb all the way back up the mountain, start climbing up the mountain but wait, it's to dark, you might fall, realize that the other 3 band members are making absolute fools of themselves playing the "Jazz Odyssey, finally making it to the top of the mountain and realize that you've got to get back to the bar in the next 10 minutes and realize that there is only one thing left that you can do..[Band]You've got to run like an Antelope, out of control(x4)...[Antelope closes] Mike: Thank You Trey: Thank you very much Mike: Good Night Trey: We'll see... Fish: Good night ? Trey: ...you in Burlington

09/24/88 - Window -> Jar:

9/24/88 - Full Moon at The Zoo, UMASS, Amherst, MA - Set II (Pre-Lizards) Trey: We are proud to say that the window is now ajar. Mike: Once a window, now a jar.

04/14/89 - Important Banter:

4/14/89 - Johnson State, VT Before Contact: Trey: [very serious] This is a very important philosophical tune. Guy in crowd:FREEBIRD!! Trey: [very serious] Please, pay heed. After Contact Mike: Thank you! Thank you! ... And If I could take this moment to say that you know we play a lot of gigs throughout a lot of places but Johnson State...We hold a dear spot in our hearts for Johnson State. It brings a tear to the eye! Trey: But what you don't know, is that we have a special affinity for Johnson State because we OWN Johnson State. And all of your tuitions are going right into our pockets. So you might as well just throw all your money up on stage right now! Cause we're gonna get it in the end, if you know what I mean. There's nothin' like gettin' it in the end...every once in a while.

04/20/89 - Oom Pa Pa!:

4/20/89 Full Moon at the Zu, Amherst College, Amherst, MA - Set 2 Divided, Walk Away, YEM>SOAMelt, Lizards, Mike's>H2>Week, Love You, Harpua After Love You Trey: Sounds to me like the song you want to hear begins with an "oom pah pah." This song is called "Oom Pa Pa." "Whipping Pa!" (laughter) "Whipping Pa Pa!" Mike: "Whip Pa Pa!" etc... (More with Trey explaining the hand signals for "whip-pa-pa," "whip-pa-post," and "hoom-pa-pa."). Harpua begins Trey: This story is about an especially mean, ugly, grumpy bull dog. Not like my dog, who is a nice little golden retriever, but, true story: did you know that last week my dog was shot in the ass by some obnoxious person? (Page and Mike laugh). It's true! It's not supposed to be funny! But anyway, Harpua was NEVER shot in the ass. (laughter). Mike: He was never shot in the ass. Trey: Harpua was never shot in the ass. So one day Harpua was walking along with his NON-SHOT ASS wagging in the air, towards town where Jimmy lived. And Jimmy in the meantime was sitting on his non-shot ass in front of the TV in his house, slowly petting the non-shot ass of his cat. (Mike (?) meows). His cat...with his special cat...his cat laying on the ground in front of the TV with his non-shot ass in the air. And this was NO NORMAL non-shot ass. This was a SPECIAL non-shot ass. This was a beautiful white non-shot, non-bloody ass. Mike: Let's hear it for non-shot ass!!!! (Band goes into Non-shot ass jam. "Non-shot ass" is sung with a march-like melody behind it. All 4 are singing along. REALLY funny). -Regular Harpua narration- Later in narration: Trey: Harpua looked at the cat and he says to himself.......... Mike: "Holy shit." (quietly) Trey: He said to himself, "Oh my God" (with English accent).....(Build up to Poster's name): "It's the one and only...it's....My god! My God! My God! My god my god my god my god..etc Mike: HIS GOD!!!! (while Trey continues to yell "My God!"). This goes on for a while. Anyway, Trey EVENTUALLY yells Poster's name, and Harpua proceeds in a very playful manner. Funniest Harpua I've ever heard; this is a great show for banter. (It's also the show where the fire alarm goes off during Fluffhead). Anyone know the story about what happened to Marley? Who would shoot that cute dog?

05/06/89 - The Tire Song:

5/6/89 Collis Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH Set 1 [after Weekapaug] Mike: Thank you! Trey: Thank you. Page: Mike's Song, and the Weekapaug Groove. Mike: Weekapaug, Rhode Island. Trey: Weekapaug, Rhode Island. And that's the beginning of the trip here. So we took off, we're in Weekapaug Rhode Island and it's time to move on from Weekapaug now to...lifting off from Weekapaug...you guys up there on the top there...taking off...and of course, we're lifting off and we're heading for...GAMEHENDGE. Oh my god, it's Gamehendge! We're leaving...we're leaving Weekapaug, Rhode Island...and there in the distance you see it, it's Gamehendge, we're coming towards it. And off in the distance, there's a fairground. There's a fairground, at the edge of Gamehendge, and there's all these weird animals and stuff and creatures walking around...unit monsters, spotted stripers, multibeasts. There they are...we're walking through the fairground through this weird midway and over in the corner, there's a little girl, standing... [Esther, The Sloth, Possum, Bold As Love] Page: Thank you. Trey: Thank you...Alright, thanks. So, uh, now were gonna do one here. This is another Gamehendge song, for those of you who might not know that. Drunk guy: The tire song! The tire song! The tire song! Trey: [Deep voice] The tire song. Band: all laugh Drunk guy: cheers Trey:[deep voice] The tire song. Page: laughs [Band talks to each other, can't tell what they're saying] Trey: Okay, we're not going to do the tire song, right now. No, we're NOT gonna do the..WE'RE NOT GONNA DO THE TIRE SONG [breaks down laughing]. [Still laughing] Oh my god...no tire song... [Regains composure] Alright, no really, this is another Gamehen...how's everybody doing up there, uh, in the top there? Don't fall or anything. Page: Don't drop anything on anybody's head....We'll get to the tire song [laughing]. [as Trey says the rest] No, we'll get to it, we'll get to it. Trey: Ok, no really, no, no really, this is another, uh, this is another Gamehendge tune. We're takin' it to Gamehendge. We're taking it out to Gamehendge. This guy's waitin' for a song here, he's gonna get it, he's gonna get it [laughs]. 1,2,3,4... [AC/DC Bag]

05/28/89 - Ian's Farm:

 

Audience Member: Let Page sing !!!
Pause
Trey: Page will now sing a number to his choosing.
Laughing erupts on stage, and Fishman yells something like "Turn it off ! Turn it off !"
Trey: Page will now sing Down on Thunder Island.
More laughing
Gentleman in the dark over there: "Ride Captain Ride"
Trey to Page: Ride Captain Ride?
Trey: Ladies and Gentleman the choice has just been made...., after long deliberation, Page has chosen the song he will sing and, he has been pushed over the edge by the gentleman in the dark over there who screamed..............for this number.

 

Trey: So this is how you mountain people live, huh?
plays a little jazz ditty
Trey: This little pun is thought up by Chris Kuroda. Don't blame this pun on me! Purple! Where'd you get that? PUN by Chris Kuroda! One, Two, you guys know what we're playing? Fire. Get it? Get it?
MIKE?PAGE?FISH?: in a funny old man voice Everyone ready to rock and roll?
Fire
Guy in crown: You guys suck!
Trey: while breathing heavily into mic Oaky, Okay, Okay, What is it?
crowd yelling, other unintelligible things on stage
Trey: Gettin' it up? Gettin' it up! We have a request for gettin' it up & of course, that is Page's department, so Page?
Page: We'll take care of it.
Trey: Page will take care of gettin' it up. Keeping it up, keeping it up, of course, that's Mike's department!
Page: It takes all four of us.
Trey: Once it's up. And letting it back down again, of course, that's Fish's department!
Mick: The turtle. Fish "The Turtle" Fishman.
Trey: Johnny B alias, "The Turtle" Fishman. You all saw it at the rock rumble!

Mike or PAGE: Yamar?
Trey: Yamar? Let's bring it up, let's pick it up.
Fish: I don't have my cowbell or my woodblock.
Mike or Page?: Let's do a total Mike's.
Fish: Alright, alright.
Trey: How about Mike's Song?
Fish: Alright, yeah.
Mike: Well?
Trey starts Mike's WAY too fast & everybody else comes in right along for a few bars before it falls apart
Trey: That was silly! That was silly.
Now Mike's proper starts with lots of shouts by the band during it such as "Here comes the beer! Phleagh! Beer!"

5/28/89 Ian McClane's, Hebron, NY - Set 1, after Someone?: "There's a announcement to be made [Fish interrupts]" Fish: "We need a volunteer for a keg run!" Guy in audience, who I have heard at other Ian's shows, who is probably Ian himself (Mr. Sharpless, your learned opinion??) ( "Ian" says, from off stage): "Welcome Lulu to the show." Trey: "We'd like to welcome Lulu to the show first of all." Page, wistfully: "Lulu, Ian's mom." Trey: "Second of all, those of you who feel you won't need to poop in the next hour or so, we'd like you to go on a keg run." Ian (comes to mic): "Atta Boy." Another guy from the aud, Guy #1, who also comes to the mic: "We have the money. We need a sober driver, and a pickup truck." "Ian" (intoxicated): "No Dee-Wee [DWI] allowed let's get a driver up for a keg run. Let's go let's go let's go!" (some guy, maybe Fish.. off-mic): "Your mother. Send your mother for the keg run." Trey (on mic, in highpitched cutesy voice): "Who are you marley. Marley marley marley marley how are you where are you over here marley marley come here" Fish (on mic): "I think those extremely sober men over there are trying to say that they want to drive down [laughs]" Guy #1 (on mic): "I will supply the pickup truck for someone I deem sober." Fish (on mic): "I'm sober. [long pause] Hey-uh. I'll drive. I'm sober. Not that that makes a difference. [cackles]." End of Set 1

10/20/89 - Split Open and Do-over:

10.20.89 The Front, Burlington, Vt - Set II No Dogs Allowed, Walk Away, Dinner/Movie,I Didn't Know*, AC/DC Bag*, Donna Lee*, SOAMelt*, Hood*, Swing Low Sweet Chariot Jam*, In a Hole* E: LaGrange *, Slave* * w/ Russ Remington and Dave Grippo on Saxes We join the band during SOAMelt, where they break into the acapella harmony, "We breathe deep..." portion of the song. Music tails off, Fishman does the count out... Band[acapella]: "We breathe deep, in a steam dream, and plunge below the water line.....pause, everyone trails off in a jumbled mess" Trey: We should just do that again, that, I can't stand it. This is, like, the coolest thing we were gonna do all night, and the lights went off and they couldn't read the fuckin' music, so, we're just gonna do it again. Sorry, I'm so psyched for this, the fucking lights went off. Argh laugh.... Fishman begins the SOAMelt drum intro from the top Trey: Let's just go back to the beginning...make sure the lights don't go off Chris. SOAMelt from the top

12/15/89 - Chris Kuroda:

12/15/89 Ukrainian National Home, New York City, NY Before Funky Bitch Trey: While he gets this mic cord ready, I want you guys to help us out with this little gag we want to play if you will. Okay, let me explain this to you: we had this light his name was Tim and he played harp, he used to come up and jam with us once and a while. He wasn't that good but...he had a lot of fun...just hang on, hang on. Anyway he left us and we have a new light person with us named Chris and this is what we want to do. Paul our soundman is taping this whole thing so what he's done now is turned off the tape while I explain all this to you, and when John (Popper) starts playing what we're gonna do is we're gonna introduce him as Chris so we can give Tim this tape and say "Chris is picking up the harmonica, he's getting pretty good here's like a tape of him playing" So when you guys yell you gotta yell (screaming) "Alright Chris!" (stupid laughter by Trey) Tell me when you're ready Paul...cool...(paul now taping)Okay we're gonna get our light man Chris Kuroda up here to play some harp with us.Here he comes! (John Popper comes out) Lets hear it for him Chris Kuroda our light man. Funky bitch is played Trey: Chris Kuroda! Jesus left chicago is played Page: Thank you! John Popper: Better get back to those lights. (leaves) Audience member: Chris sucks! Another Audience member: What you will! Trey: What you will. Contact is played while Wilson is being chanted Mike: (in deep voice) Thank you very much. Bowie played Trey: Thank you...very much. We'll see you uh...nevermind. Blues Traveller up one more time give it up. Thanks a lot.

12/28/90

Page Caleb Snyder, your license is on my piano. (Pause) Your wallet is at 
the front door.

Trey Your life is in our hands. 

05/04/90 - Boy Scout Anthem:

5/4/90 - Colonial Theatre Keene, NH - Soundcheck During "Carolina"... Fish: [sings, with rest of band singing normally] "Nothing could be finer than to be in HER VAGINA in the morning" [Song ends] Fish: I had to, I had to, just once. Just once, I had to sing the Boy Scout anthem.

11/04/90 - :

11/4/90 Fort Ram Nightclub, Fort Collins, CO - Encore Mike: We'd like to play another song for you. Trey: We got the disco lights on here, now. Mike: We're gonna do a little disco number for you... Contact

03/17/91 - The Bear Story:

03/17/91 - Wheeler Opera House, Aspen, CO - Set 2 Trey: We're going to do some of the newer stuff for you. Guy in Crowd: Old days! Trey: Old days? What do you want to hear man? Let me ask this guy here. What do you want to hear from the old days? Guy: A Jimi Hendrix song. Trey: A Jimi Hendrix song? Maybe later. If it's an original tune we'll do it man, we'll take a request. How about mike? Where's mike man? Do you want to make a request? Mike (not Mike Gordon): Slave. Trey: Alright we're going to do mike's request here. Thanks mike. A telluride contingent over there. [people sceaming] are all those people from telluride? [more screaming] I just want to say that we're hoping to recreate our first Colorado experience. It was [to the band] three years ago? Like three summers ago [to the band] or maybe four summers ago? Four summers ago the first time we ever came to Colorado it was our first road trip. We got offered a gig in Colorado at Telluride at the Moon or I mean actually at the Roma, at the Roma. Warren Stikmee it was at the Roma. We ended up playing at the moon, but we were playing in Burlington and we had all these gigs at our local bar Nectars that we always played at in Burlington. So we decided we were going to go out on this tour. This guy was going to book us this big Colorado tour all these gigs and we told everybody in Burlington you know 'we're going on tour.' [said with spiccoli accent] it was our first tour we were all excited and so we had our going away party gig at Nectars one night. You know we said good bye and everybody came out to say 'yeah kick off the tour!' and the next morning we got ready to go we called up and it turned out that it had been narrowed down to one gig where we'd be playing for the door in Telluride. See we were going to drive all the way out to telluride for this gig so the next night we ended up... we weren't going to go. We went back to Nectars embarrassed you know standing there like 'well we're back. we didn't get to go.' The next morning we decided to go anyway. So we got out to Telluride and we played for like a week staight every night at the Romato about twenty people. It was the same twenty people every night. Mike was one of them. It was great. It was amazing. So we're hoping that maybe next summer or something we can go back out and do it again. Fishman(?): For the door. Trey: Play for the door. Audience member: We're waiting for the first california show. Trey: Thats next week man. I can't wait. Anyway here's Mikes request. From the old days. Audience Member: Tell another story. Trey: Another story? I'll tell you what. Maybe we'll get fish out here to tell one of his stories. He's got some great ones man. Alright here's what we'll do. we'll do this song, then we'll get Fish out and maybe if you guys egg him on enough he tell you the story about the bear. He knows some good jokes too. The Jamaica Joke is one of his favorites. Begin Slave Post-Slave Trey: Thank you. [HYHU begins; onstage laughs] Here he comes ladies and gentlemen...here he comes now...the man with, the man with the stories...the hardest man in show business ladies and gentlemen...the man who's gonna tell you the story about the bear ladies and gentlemen...Henrietta, let's hear [HYHU ends] it for him...[onstage chatter] Fish: Alright, look...This is you know, they're just ragging on me because I can't keep my mouth shut on long hauls...Anyway... Trey: Fish... Fish: ?[mumbles something] Trey: ...if you don't feel like telling the story about the, ah, bear you can tell the story about getting lost in the mountains. Fish: ?, well, I could tell you this one other story... When, when we did go out to Telluride the first time. Aww, alright you want to hear the bear story? Okay there's, there's two bear stories. One, one bear story is in the Adirondacks. Page: Let's just hear one bear story. Fish: Okay, we'll hear one bear story. I don't know which one I like better, well [onstage chatter]...this is, this is bad and this is true and you know no one believes me but this, this sucked. I was, I was, all right. I was hiking the Adirondacks and it was near this place, Long Lake, and there was, and there was bushwhack. I'd been bushwhacking through you know it was like, ah, about 6 days of bushwhacking and, ah, [background music for a few seconds]...bushwhack music here...So, we ?, I came out on the trail and I, I started hiking around. It was like, you know this, there was a hill and there was a bend and a whole bunch of trees and shit and in the Adirondacks they don't, you know, you don't have to have bear...[Mike plays some theme music(?Peanuts?)]...bells or anything like that and, ah, [chuckles]...so, so I'm hiking along and I come across this bear and it was a black bear. That which you normally aren't, they, they climb trees really but their normally, you know, not mean or, they're really like cats or something you know and run away. They don't, they don't want to meet you any more than you want to meet them and, uh, so this bear was a female bear and she was mad and she I swear and she and she looked at me and I knew right away she was mad. So [chuckle]...I had to, I had to drop my...I took my pack off and I was very calm about it and I took my pack off and I kind of, you know and I started, you know they tell you, your run in with them. Take your pack off and you walk backwards and that kind of thing. Well, I started walking backwards and this bear just started walking toward me and then like started trotting toward me and, you know, ah, and then it didn't look happy and she was eating too, which is another thing. When they stop eating and then come after you there's something wrong. So, all right, so I ran up a tree. I ran up this tree and I can't climb trees for shit but I did. I climbed this tree and I, ah, went up this tree it was like a, it was not like a very wide tree but I was up this tree and I was about 15, 20 feet off the ground and this bear was fat and she couldn't climb all the way up this tree and it was like kind of a, well she couldn't tear it down either which was, you know. I was sitting in this fucking tree and, and you know and I'm sitting there and this bear is really mad and she's clawing at the bottom of the tree and she's [Fish does his best bear imitation]...she really doesn't like me and there's this whining sound. I hear this whining sound and I [Trey makes sound whine noises w/ the 'doc]...look up and there's this a cub in the tree. I'm in the tree that her cub was in. So I am sitting there and I had to sit there and this climbing sound and this mother bear clawing and the little bear on top and I sat there for 3 hours. I sat there until I and it was on a hill sort of and I could kind of see the, er, trail and these people were coming up the trail and I started screaming and yelling, you know, [Fish does an imitation of his yelps]...you know and they couldn't make out what I was saying. I was saying, you know, don't come up here there's a bear up here, go get a ranger. So they started hiking away and, ah, they eventually understood me and they went and I sat there like for another hour and then the ranger came and they shot the bear with a dart and they put her to sleep and I climbed down and I don't know the little, the little baby bear. They get the little baby bear down and the mother bear is lying on the ground unconscious and we all walk away very, you know, and that was the story but I don't, I almost. No one died, nothing died, it was a happy ending. It was a good one and it was a good scare...all right...anyway...What a long gig [Aud. member yells "Honey love ya"]..Thank you, thanks. [HYHU begins] Trey: Henrietta, ladies and gentlemen. The hardest man in show business. And now driving one person to leave the theater. [HYHU ends; An aud memeber yells "No dogs allowed"] That's got to be Eric [chuckles]..Am I right? It's Eric... Fish: ? Trey: Eric has been watching us, following us, watching us play for years now and he always requests the same song. Fish: And we've never played it for him. [snickers] Trey: Hmm, we've played it once for him. Mike: And tonight Trey: We're not gonna play it for him Fish: Tonight [makes a wailing noise] Page: We're not gonna play it for him. a few moments later Trey: I could tell you another quick story about, about Fish. Now that, now that he's come up here. This is it, just to finish up the Telluride story. When we were in Telluride we played for the first four nights or something at the Roma. [Trey asks band, "Is that right"][?? response] No he had his dress...[Someone asks a question] No, he didn't get the dress out of the free box but he got some other clothes out of the free box. Fish: It was brand new, then. Trey: That dress was brand new when he got it. Okay, so llet me tell yo the story. So there's Fish, so we get to the gig every night around 10 and we just left the equipment set up because we were playing in the same place. So one morning Fish decides to go hiking with two friends of ours who were of questionable intent. Charlie, my friend and um, they go waltzing up into the mountains in Telluride and so we don't see them for the rest of the day and then we get to the gig around 10 and we're supposed to go on about 10:15 and Fish doesn't show up. People are starting to get worried. People in the club are starting to get worried, they ask "Where is he" and we say "Well he climbed up into the mountains with some friends" and of course by this time it's dark. So everybody starts saying, well that you know, "They shouldn't be up there at dark, it's really pretty dangerous" and you know, the guy's from the east, they've never been in mountains like this before and we're like "No man, no man, don't worry". So it's getting to be like 11. Finally we had to start playing. So we played the first set without him, just the 3 of us. We did the Jazz Odyessey [Laughs]...Where I play the drums and still no Fish. So we take a break. We take a long break, you know, 15 minutes or something. No Fish. Played another set without him. Two sets so far without him. Finally about 1 O'clock [chuckles] the doors open up and Fish comes walking in, in through the door with this big bundle of flowers, big wide eyes, comes walking through the door. [laughing] So we played a couple more songs and ended it. Ah, yeah what a guy....What's that? [aud member requests Chalkdust] Yeah, I'll play that one [Tells the rest of the band]....Okay, we're gonna do a, now that we did some old stuff, we're gonna just do new stuff to end thee, ah, evening here.[Some fans voice there opinion] Page: [In the background]Are we supposed to stop? Trey: We're kind of... Fish: And you hate the new stuff already. Trey: ...already over...You know, it's interesting, people, people ask like why we stop or why we don't play longer and stuff like that. I gotta tell you that it's, there's always a limit at the club. They tell you exactly what time you have to get off the stage, so we always push it right to the end, you know.[aud member says ?] Alright, we'll move off. Okay, but this is, ah, this is called Chalkdust Torture. Some of you might have heard it already but it's pretty new, and it might be on an album because we're making a new album right when we get back from this tour. Here it goes...[>Chalkdust] Encore Post-Lawn Boy [Aud. member makes a request Trey: I haven't played that in so long that I think that I might not do justice to it. mumbling Trey: Ok, here we go... Fish: Look, I have to correct one little part of that story..the reason I was late was not because I was..out of my mind or anything..It was because we went down the wrong side of the mountain and we decided we'd take a different creative route and went down the wrong side and hit a sheer cliff and had to go all the way back up and the wide eyes was because I had an extra boost of energy to get back up the mountain..Yeah, and that's the truth[chuckles] Page: Thank you so much for that story Fish... Trey: It wasn't just the flowers it was the way he was looking at them when he walked in the door...They're all like limp you know and he said he had picked them hours before and he couldn't put them down, you know[Laughs] Fish: They were nice flowers..??[>La Grange]

03/22/91 - :

3/22/91 The Inferno, Steamboat, CO - Set 2 During Fishman's solo screaming in "Suzie Greenburg" Fishman: What a bitch!!

04/11/91 - The Prison Joke:

04/11/91 The Cave(Carleton College), Northfield, MN - Encore After Fee Trey: As we fade out here..?..even though we weren't planning on it. We should bring..[HYHU begins]..the one and only Henrietta to the front of the stage because...I think that if you guys yell loud enough he might be able to tell you a funny joke... ladies and gentlemen...Henrietta!!![HYHU ends] Fish: I'm not telling any funny jokes..This isn't funny... No...there's nothing funny about this. Mike: This is serious as a heart attack. Fish: This is serious as all hell.{some ?? mumblings) Trey: Maybe if you yell loud enough Fish will tell the Prison [Fish and Trey chuckle] Joke. Fish: Alright, the Prison Joke. This is, this is good... Anyone ever heard of John Fox...Alright, well there was this tape we got you know, you know we're driving miles and miles and [*] miles and we ?, everytime you stop at one of those, ah, you know, those 24 hour marts and everything and gas. They, everyone, was looking over the tapes and they have this thing like "Truckers Comedy", you know, volume 1 and volume 2, volume 3. They all say, like rated x, adult humor and stuff. But, so there's these just tapes of dirty jokes. So there's this one really, pretty funny one, there just like this 1/2 pint guy and [**] ah, how did it go.....Alright, you know, okay so I've only, only heard this joke like once or twice..but, ah, alright so there's this really small guy, like ?, skinny and everything. He was small and he goes to jail.. and he's in this, this, you know there's all these huge guys, you know, in line to go into prison. Then, ah, there's this, they put him in a cell with this huge guy. He's like 250 lb. guy, you know, huge monster of a guy and all day he's like really, you know he's like really afraid and he's like timid and hanging in the corner and, ah, you know, everything goes okay, you know, no one's, no one gets hurt or anything. So they go to bed, go to sleep. He's sleeping in the top bunk, the little guy and the other guys sleeping in the bottom bunk and, ah...about 3 O'clock in the morning the big guy downstairs, he wakes...pokes at the bottom of the bed he goes(in a deep voice) "Hey, wanna play house? I wanna play house," and he says, the guy goes, "You wanna be the man or the wife?" and the [Fish chuckles] and the [chuckles again] and the little 1/2 pint guy's like(in a wimpy voice), "I wanna be the man" and he goes (deep voice) "then come on down here and suck your wife's dick!" [Laughs] Alright, well alright, alright, third person joke. It's all in the delivery [HYHU begins] that's why I'm not a comedian. That's why I play drums and I, I play the vacuum cleaner. That's about all I know, but, ah, I guess some other time. Trey: Henrietta, ladies and gentlemen, Henrietta!! Fish: Alright, I'll... Trey: The one and only Henrietta, ladies and gentlemen Fish: The subtlest vacuum cleaner solo ever. [*]= Mike starts playing the bass line to Jesus left Chicago [**]= Mike stops playing JLC

07/14/91 - :

7/14/91 Townshend Family Park - Townshend, VT - Set 1 Before Reba Trey: Yet at the same time I feel overdressed because it IS National Nudist Week, ladies and gentlemen....let's get naked.

08/03/91 - :

8/3/91 Amy's Farm, ME - Set 2 Right before The Curtain Someone: Saying something to the effect that the band should hurry up, what's taking so long, etc. Trey: "Hey man, you try to remember all this stuff!" [laughter]

10/06/91 - Henrietta:

10/06/91 - Macalester College, Northfield, MN - Set I Post-Brother Trey: Uh, that was called 'Brother' and that's a new song and that was dedicated to the guy who offered us $10,000 dollars to play a different song tonight....Wherever you are out there. Fish: C'mon up, wherever you... Trey: Anytime you want to come on up and give us the money... Fish: Yeah, cash, hard cold cash... Trey: Cash and we'll play it...(a few seconds later) Trey: Well, uh, Mike has broken a bass string, so what do you say, what do you say we get, the one and only...Ladies and Gentlemen [HYHU theme begins] let's get him up here for a quick ditty while Mike changes his bass string....Henrietta, ladies and gentlemen..Let's hear it for him... Fish: I hate this fuckin' song...I just want you all to know the only reason they play that song is because I hate it...[HYHU ends]... Fish: Now, when in doubt... Trey: Fish hates... Fish: When in doubt... Trey: ...alot of different songs and that one he hates the most and that's why it has become the Henrietta theme song... Fish: That's right...All I have to do in this band is say I hate something and it'll be done. Trey: Forever...It used to be La Bamba but now it's... Fish: Okay..My... Trey: Hold your head up Fish: Mother always said to me "when in doubt son, vacuum". So... ???: A wise woman...[a few seconds later Terrapin begins] Set 2 During I Didn't Know (prior to Fishs' solo) Trey: He's back ladies and gentlemen, you know, maybe before he starts playing his trombone...maybe, maybe, just maybe. This is a very special occasion tonight. Before he starts blowing his trombone, this is, we consider this a special occasion. We won't tell you what that occasion is. We will say that last time we where in this area, ah, we played at...Carleton College and some of you might remember that Fish got up. We made Fish get up and tell a joke and it was absolutely the stupidest joke ever. I don't know you guys where there. You remember, you remember the punch line. I'm not gonna tell you. Alright, well maybe this time he can redeem himself. So we're gonna try and get him to tell another joke and maybe this time he can redeem himself in the area because most people around here think that he is a pretty bad joke teller but let's see what he can do ladies and gentlemen.



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