Well I took the bait, of course. I happily picked up the hook you so deftly laid on the table, like the token hooded, sunglassed dude at poker night laying down his pocket kings and I put said hook right in my mouth. However, you probably unaware of the nuances of your bait. To me, it was like my two favorite artists, in their medium, getting put in a Hadron Collider and crashing with such precision

I have good news and bad news, fellow outlaw. The good news is, because you are literate and caused this collision, your card as Tom Robbins metaphor fan is safe, for now. But alas, goodsir, your metaphor was as vapid as Alobar's grave. It was as bad as me trying to liken it to something that contained more cheese than the law allows.We are (and, yes ked, the royal "we" not me) dangerously approaching dadpun territory, once out in that wasteland you'll be utterly alone, while at the very same time, surrounded by pasty middle aged white men who cannot turn the tide of their conversations away from politics or whatever sport is in season , literally talking about the weather.

Am I even doing this right??